Not Quite a Movie Review

To try reviewing "X3" would be an exercise in futility, but I'll make some comments. Beast made me happy. How could Beast not make me happy? He always makes me happy. Hearing Juggernaut utter the lines "Do you know who I am? I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!" was alone worth the $9.50. I'm glad I wasn't drinking at the time. It could have been better only if he had then threatened to pimp slap Kitty's ass. Kitty. I love Kitty. Yay Kitty. Fastball Special- 'nuff said. Mentally undoing a hot guy's belt buckle- a nice skill to have. I'm going to practice concentrating and see if it works for me.

I'm trying to refrain from anything negative because even though they fucked up the entire X-Men thing (ooh, I think that may have been negative), it still was a fun movie with a good story. My real feelings came out subconciously though. This morning when I awoke, I had been dreaming that I desperately had to pee and everytime I found a bathroom, Brett Ratner had stuffed up the toilet. I think that's as close to a review as I can get.

On a related note, Hugh Jackman was being interviewed by Matt Lauer on "Today". When the segment was over and they were going to a commercial, Matt read the upcoming stories, one of which was "Can corn really solve our gas problem?" and immediately Hugh cracked up and Matt turned and said "not THAT kind of gas problem!" I just love Hugh.

Kids' Conversation

8yo: Why do you smell like citrus?

4yo: What's citrus?

8yo: Oranges, lemons, limes, tangerines, grapefruits, and clementines.

4yo: You smell like poop.

The Math Mystery

I have mentioned that I'm completely math deficient. However, I'm coming to realize what I have long suspected- that it's only in a practical sense. When I was a kid, I couldn't get math concepts for squat. In my senior year of high school, I was still taking (and failing!) math funformentals. I remember my music teacher trying to get me to understand the circle of fifths and my eyes just kinda googling around. However, I was musically inclined. Clue. And I liked the most intricate jigsaw puzzles and needlework designs. Clue. Later, I became passionate about intricate quiltmaking. Clue. Now I feel the same about knitting. Clue.

When people criticized me (which believe me, they did) because of my decision to homeschool my kids, I figured that it didn't matter because we'd learn together. Well, I was right. I'm finding that schools just have a backwardsass way of teaching math! They show you symbols on paper and how to manipulate them and then show you how to apply them to real life. However, from a young age, I work with my kids with practical applied math, not calling it anything but cooking, or knitting, or whatever it happens to be. We explore the MEANING of each number, not the numerical value. Then I show them how to represent the numbers. With my eldest, most of it seems to be taking care of itself. She'll say "Oh, this is like when..." and she'll write it out and then use other examples and get excited that she can make her own. Then she naturally makes a connection to the next logical process or concept, without me having to introduce it and then we explore it together. I find she has absolutely no trouble doing problems on paper this way.

Like I thought it would, it's affecting me too. I'm thinking differently. I'm seeing the concepts. I'm actually starting to like it. I never thought that would happen. I'm practicing my violin again, which will stimulate that part of my brain as well. My ADHD meds are helping too. Now if I can figure this stuff out, why can't so called "professionals?" Why would educators and adolescent psychologists simply use terms like "lazy" or "stupid" instead of giving a kid what she needs? Clearly, it's not difficult.

I recently read an internet post in which a woman with red hair wanted to knit a scarf using the red hair gene as a pattern. I thought that was incredibly cool! I looked a bit further for such ideas and saw that someone made a pair of striped socks using the Fibonacci sequence. That was even cooler! Now I'm very intrigued. My project list includes a large tote bag for my knitting supplies. I think I will do it in Fibonacci stripes. Who knows where it will go from there?

I'm figuring that by the time I'm finished homeschooling my youngest, I will have gotten a far more thorough education than I could have ever gotten in school. My fantasy is to have enough money to go back to college when Angus starts, and put my new education to good use.

It's Good to Have a Harem

When one of my harem boys was behaving in a less than favorable way, the others provided backup to keep me happy. Hugh went on Leno and made me laugh, and he looked gorgeous. During that show, I also got to see Wolvie light a cigar off a burning car and then show me a fastball special. Following that, Craig was quite naughty and amusing, though he still needs a little discipline when it comes to his comments about Broadway musicals. I think he might be a little bit jealous. Anyway, the previously mentioned harem boy fell back into favor (for the most part) when I noticed that for the first time since we have lived in this house, he cared enough to NOT mow my flowers down with the first mowing of the season. A gesture that I most appreciate.

I Just Bought This Last Night on Ebay

It's 100% Merino, hand spun and hand dyed by some guy and his family in Uruguay. It means that I won't be able to buy decent pants for a week, but it's worth it. I'm so happy. I can't wait for it to get here, though it will be two or three weeks. That gives me time to finish the two guitar straps I'm working on now. Yay for me.

Things That Shouldn't Happen During PMS

The grocery delivery shouldn't bring tilapia instead of salmon. Do not get involved in a discussion in which someone needs to be set straight. Do not look at recipes for tasty baked goods. Do not read a book in which you can spend two hours of reading time reading about murder, suicude, execution, family reunion, birth, betrayal and marriage proposals. Not a good time to find out that they math in your knitting pattern was funky, just as you are starting the final step. Most of all, nobody should give even a hint of suggestion that mommy might be taking less than optimal care of the children.

Trees

If a person wanted to plant a Giant Sequoia in his or her yard, the National Arbor Day Foundation sells saplings for eight bucks. If you get in trouble with your homeowners' association, don't blame me cause I'm just sayin'. (do it do it do it do it do it )

Remember This, Grasshopper

Good: Corn muffins fresh from the oven with butter, honey, and a side of bacon. Mmm.

Bad: Getting your belly button jewelry caught on the edge of the counter in front of the sink and not knowing until you walk away. Very bad.

Chocolate Bunnies

Okay, husband, I nicked this from Stephen Redrobe (he knows) who nicked it from somewhere else, where it was nicked from somewhere else, where it was nicked from somewhere else, where it was nicked from somewhere else, where it was nicked from somewhere else...enough credit?

In Honor of National Tartan Day

Ah, nothing like a man in a kilt. There's something about caber tossing that I just can't seem to put my finger on. Hmm...I bet Bert can.

HEY YOU KIDS! GET OFF MY LAWN!

He really needs to relax.

Brain Dump

Unintended chemical experiments have kept me from dumping out my brain for a while, but it's starting to overflow. I have to get it out.

First, I'd like to know why Nelly was on a kids' show on a kids' channel. (and why he picked that stupid name) "Dat shit" isn't really appropriate language for a kids' show. What were they thinking when they booked him? If I want my kids to hear that, I'll just leave the tv off and they can hear it from me when I'm mad. I don't advertise myself as kid-friendly. They do.

The other day, my aunt gave my 4yo an accordian. I'm sure I don't need to say anything about that. The responses are obvious. It was the same day that my mother gave my 2yo a very loud, talking, toy screwgun. His name is Phil the Drill, even though he's not. I guess they couldn't find a name to rhyme with "screwgun".

George Bush is pushing ethanol. Does anyone else see something wrong there? I defintely hear alarm bells going off. He and his puppeteers only do things if there are big dollar signs attached for them. I'm sure it will be no cheaper for the rest of us than gasoline is. At least it will be cleaner. I notice he's not pushing biodiesel, because I can run my car for free after frying up some catfish. Doesn't do him any good. Well, as far as he's figured out yet. I'm sure whatever ends up being profitable will be owned by them in some way. I'm sure they will make accomodating laws tied to homeland security or something. Or more likely, ignore the law altogether. I'd better start making my own solar panels now.

I like The Wiggles. I really do. My kids love them. They're weird, but they're cool. Their music doesn't make me puke. I like it. Sample lyrics "wahoo hey! I'm combing my hair today!" Yes, that's always an event. "Watch him daaaaaance in his pirate paaaaaants." Another good one. And speaking of music, what is it about a the first summery day of April or May that makes me want to put on "Diver Down" and clean the house? Always "Diver Down". Must be memories of warm spring days at school with everyone playing frisbee on the lawn while my husband (then boyfriend) and his friends ran their speakers out the window. All they played there was frisbee. It was a performing arts school, you see. There were hackeysack players too, but they were a minority, as environmental studies was a smaller department.

Yesterday I went shopping. There's a new clothing store in the mall called "Pretty Woman". If you recall, the movie of the same title was about a hooker. Well, the name tells you all you need to know about the clothes they sell. I'm sure they'll do plenty of business.

I know the feeling...

I have days like this all the time. Eventually you go "yeah, something blew up again. Whatever."

Have Fox and Gannon Call Me

I have found the new Peter Allen. It's Anthony from the Wiggles. Seriously. He'd do a really good job. It's almost scary, actually. I'd buy a ticket.

I hate when I do that

I just wrote a JT post involving chocolate raspberry croissants. Now I can practically taste them. Crap. Will I ever learn my lesson? Probably not.

I Needs Me Some Happy

It's difficult not to smile back.

THIS BURNS MY TOAST!!!!!!!!!!

In case some of you might not have realized it, I can be moody. Today I was having a good day. One of the things I had planned was to put our Harry Potter game in debug mode, which will allow us to access hidden areas and a secret game level. My daughter and I were pretty excited about it. So I went into the program and tried to follow the instructions I was given, but the files were completely different from what this guy had listed. So I poked around and finally found what I was looking for and changed debug mode from false to true and saved the changes. Popped in the game, got ready to use debug mode, hit the key I needed to hit, and...NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I went back into the files to make sure I had saved the change and I had. So this made me cranky and now I'm mad that I'm cranky! My poor kids.

This Rocks

I mentioned a while back that my dad died in November. He was not a traditonal kinda guy and I'm not very traditional either, so there was no funeral. Instead, he was cremated and is now holding up my DVD's. We are planning a memorial service in June because of his birthday and fathers' day. Thing is, being not very traditional, I'm not sure what to do, although we're probably going to plant a tree in my yard and put his ashes in the hole. He kept wanting to plant a tree here. Anyway, although I missed this episode, I was lucky enough to find the video online- Craig Furgeson's father died in January (you'd think I could keep up with all my harem boys' goings on, but there are so many of them) and he used his show to have a wake for his dad. (I bet the crew got smashed that night) The Wicked Tinkers came on. If you've never heard or seen them perform, go to www.wickedtinkers.com. They banged the drums for Craig's dad. http://www.wickedtinkers.com/Video/TLLS.set.2.mov My dad would love this. The neighbors probably would not. Still pondering...

Call me cruel if you must...

...but I can't perpetuate the myth that has polluted the minds of so many generations. I don't care if it shatters your faith to the very core, you must know the truth.

CURIOUS GEORGE IS NOT A MONKEY! HE'S A CHIMPANZEE!

There, I said it. I feel like a stain has been removed from my soul. Now what's the deal with the man with the yellow hat? Clearly, he is not the zoologist he claims to be. So what's his scam? Pervert?

Waiting for the blizzard

Don't know what I'm waiting for exactly, but I got some cash to pay the shovel guys, plenty of Pepsi and Doritos, Cranium Cadoo, the Olympics on tv, etc. I just took a hot fudge cake out of the oven and I have a really fun MST3000 episode on dvd. My shovel is on the porch, my car is at the end of the driveway and I'm pretty set. I just hope that when the spousal unit gets off the train on Sunday night, he can dig out his car and come home. It does feel nice to not have to go anywhere.

Meanwhile, at Jackman's Table, will Ridgkov- I mean Ridge really be back later? What kind of packing is he helping his old prison buddy do? What kinds of applicants will show up for the new bartender position? Is Jenda now a Russian citizen? Can Raven really have her croissants and eat them too? And what of Antonio? What indeed...