Quote of the Day

My kids are playing a racing video game. There was some kind of glitch, and the car just suddenly appeared somewhere else. My daughter yelled "Ooh! Wormhole!" and my son angrily replied "DON'T YOU CALL ME A WORMHOLE!!!" Special.

Quotes of the Day

5yo: Do they have beer with the happy meals?

7y0: Do you think that when I wake up on my birthday, there will be a spiral sliced ham on my bed?

The Case of the Suspicious Squirrel

BEST MESSAGE EVER!!!

Thank you, Facebook for providing me the opportunity to receive the following message:

i was trying to pet your monkey and accidentally attacked it. sorry, i didnt mean to attack your monkey. but i did pet you monkey several times.

It made my day.

The other day I was in the gaming store and got hit on by a young geek boy. Alas, he wasn't cute. I'm sure he was a virgin. We were looking at D&D books and he seemed pretty excited to see me, and asked me if I played and was here for the meetup. I don't think there was one at that time, actually. I told him I was there while my CHILDREN were playing Pokemon. This didn't seem to deter him. He invited me to the monthly meetup, which, from his enthusiasm, I am going to assume has no chicks in it.

While hanging out there, I had a Sky Bar, which I haven't had in forever. I've forgotten what cheap crap chocolate tastes like. Blech. I've become spoiled. I'm not sure there was even any cocoa in that. Ah well. At least I had a nice time taunting the kid who keeps losing his pen and mooching from everyone else. Cute little fellow.

Dear Samantha Brown

Dear Samantha Brown,

Please STFU! You are an embarrassment to Americans everywhere. Nobody thinks you're cute when you ask an obviously stupid and ignorant question that you KNOW is obviously stupid and ignorant. You can't even be bothered to learn how to pronounce the name of the place you're visiting. You are not a traveler, you are a tourist. Thank the gods for Anthony Bourdain.

With Restraint,

Rima

Harem Boys

I do believe they were planning my birthday lap dance. I'm looking forward to it. The big guy on the right is legally obligated. The one on the left just can't help himself.

Signs

I just came back from a short vacation. While I was away, I snapped a couple of interesting pictures. Interpret them as you will. Some doobage might help.