Dude, either hire me or cut it out.

Okay, this is getting to be too much now. In Craig Ferguson's monologue last night, he did a comedic sexy voice saying "Have another piece of cake. It's delicious. Have some more carrot cake with the forbidden icing." Carrot cake for goodness sakes! I've written entire dialogues about carrot cake! Now of course, I do it waaaaaaaaay better, but still! If he's going to use my stuff, he needs to learn to do it right. The night before, he was talking about naughty librarians! I wonder if someone on his staff reads JT. Haha, right. No, it's my brainwaves. They infiltrate. I'll have to wear one of those aluminum foil hats to keep them where they belong. I bet that would go over well at a pitch meeting. At least I'd look like many of the other people in Los Angeles. Perfectly normal.