Die Berroco, DIE!!!!!!!!!!!

The pattern is labeled "very easy" yet it wants me to take 146 stitches, and decrease by 54, evenly spaced across the row. Hello, I'd have to decrease every two and a half stitches! You can't do that! So now I have to take the whole thing to the yarn shop and hope that some of the more knowlegable people there can figure it out for me, otherwise I'll have thirty dollars worth of purpley-blue yarn barf and a very disappointed little girl. And a conniption. I wanted to finish it this week. AAAAAGHH!!!