Parenting WIN!

My daughter had been using newspaper for an "arps and craps" project. When I went up to get her laundry, the newspapers were all over the place in a big mess, so I told her to collect them all and take them out of her room. Of course, this meant to put them in the newspaper bin. However, her alien brain works differently. For some reason, she got one of those green supermarket shopping bags, put all the newspapers in it, and put the whole thing in the livingroom, where one of the younger podlings dumped it all over the couch, followed by youngest podling tripping on the bag.

Of course, I yelled at her. I didn't understand why she didn't just put them in the bin, which was infinitely more simple than the option she chose. I, still shreiking, said that I hadn't told her to put them in a grocery bag in the livingroom, to which she replied, "You didn't tell me not to."

OH NO SHE DIDN'T, GIRLFRIEND! OH YES SHE DID!

I told her "Do not pull that crap with me, child!" Following her around like a crazy stalker, and still yelling, I asked if she had eaten any, because I hadn't told her not to. Did she stick any up her butt? I hadn't told her not to. Did she pack any up and send them to a needy family in Cambodia, because I hadn't told her not to! She was half laughing, half terrified. She thought I had finally lost my mind. (Little does she know that it's long gone).

That's right, kid. You cannot outsmartass me. I'm where you got your smartassery from!!! I've been a smartass many years longer than you have. It just ain't gonna happen.