It didn't suck as badly as "King Arthur" did. Brad Pitt has improved since "Interview With the Vampire". Orlando Bloom was Orlando Bloom. I liked some of the actors in it. Peter O'Toole makes me laugh, even in the most serious roles. I don't know why. He's just like that. The guy who played Boromir in LOTR played Odysseus, which was really cool. Odysseus is one of my favorite guys of all time. I wouldn't trust him for anything, but I really like him. Now, this Helen chick. Supposedly blessed by Aphrodite to be the most gorgeous and enchanting woman on the planet. Hmmm, you'd think that in Hollywood, there might have been a decent pool of beautiful women. Clearly, acting wasn't a requisite so that opens up the choices a bit. They cast someone who was pretty in a regular sort of way. I remember her from when she was on General Hospital or something years back when I actually watched it. She had brown hair and was about eleven years old. Something freaky about that. Brian Cox was Agamemnon, another guy who makes me giggle, despite his tragic and sometimes wicked life. I don't know why. Maybe it's because he was such a freakin' idiot. I mean, get a clue. Anyway, Brian Cox played an equally obnoxiously evil character in "X-2" as Reverend Stryker. (Oh excuse me, that's COLONEL Stryker. I forgot it's Bryan Singer's universe. @@ Read a comic book, dude?)
Anyway, when I read about the Trojan war (stop laughing, and you know you are) or see a movie like this, several thoughts come to mind. One, if I were Paris' mother/father/brother/sister/whatever, I would have beaten the snot out of him for bringing all of Greece to slaughter us and burn our homes because he was thinking with his dick. True love my ass. Like looks had nothing to do with it.
If I were Hector's wife ( I don't remember her name and I didn't get to hear it since my husband installed "better" speakers) I would have given Paris a second whuping after he ran like chicken shit from Menelaus, leaving my husband to fight his little love spat for him. And then after Hector's slaughter, when Helen tried to comfort me, I'd bitch slap her empty little head right off her shoulders. Man, what were these people thinking? When I read Greek plays and stuff, I notice a theme. I call it "STOOOPUD". Did they all get too much sun or something?
And the skirts. Oy. Those guys are not Scotsmen. No way. They look like girlie soldiers, they really do. It was kinda fun, but not really. Mostly for the comedy aspects. Rent it or not.
2 comments:
I got stuck with Troy because it was a pack in with "Last Samurai" at the local Wally World.
I didn't totally hate it, but I didn't really like it either. I would have liked it to have been grittier, and I am not so sure of the choice of Brad Pitt as Achilles. He just doesn't seem to carry as much "machoness" as one would expect from a badass like Achilles.
I agree that most of the soldiers, main characters included, came off a little, um. . . dainty.
And I absolutely hate that ridiculous looking "jumping sword lunge" move that they saddled Achilles with (the one he uses in the beginning of the movie to kill the big guy). I cringe inside every time I see it.
Yeah, that's pretty much it, Dave. The whole thing was wussed down.
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