Enlightenment

Yesterday I discovered a new word. It's a word I've been searching for for years. There are times I just can't explain why I like something and this is it! It's "craptastic!" (always with an exclamation point). So thank you, Jenda, for broadening my vocabulary and my world. And now, some things that I consider to be "craptastic!"...

Van Helsing; ABBA; Pop Tarts; Elio's frozen pizza- you know, the horrible rectangle kind; Godzilla; the original Star Trek; Pringles; Yoohoo. And there is more, so much more.

So tonight, think of all the things that are craptastic! in your life, and be glad.

Words That Should Never Be Uttered

"Look what I can do with my toes!"

As the mother of the person who spoke these words, I feel that I might need to seek outside support.

A Lightbulb Moment

I finally realized why I don't like white wine. Last night at dinner, my husband and my best friend were commenting on how good the wine was. I thought it tasted like dookie. So I went on with dinner, and at one point, absentmindedly took a sip of my wine and thought "Eeew, this champagne is flat." AHA!!!!!!!!!!

Those of you who appreciate that will be the same ones who understand why, when my 7yo was singing "we did the constipated American" (she knew the real words, she liked hers bettah) I immediately thought of a high-fiber smoothie, served up by a bartender with great biceps. My brain just goes in its own direction. It knows more than I do.

Gets it From His Mama

My son is almost ten months old. He's at that age where he's learning to do stuff and we all make a big fuss to encourage him. When he learns something new, we all applaud him and say "good job". He recently learned to wave when someone says "Hi" to him. We all repeat it now and then, mostly because it's cute. So yesterday he was in a playful mood, so I waved to him and said "Hi Angus!" He applauded me. Smartass.

In Appreciation

I'd like to thank everyone for the outpouring of concern regarding the skim milk. I have gotten the situation under control with some chocolate chip cookie pie and Berry Berry Kix. It's okay now.

SUI

People, do NOT (and I can't stress this enough) place an online grocery order when you are taking Nyquil. I mean it. Don't.

Now, I have lots of skim milk that I'm willing to trade for real food. Any takers?

More Good Lyrics

As sung by my soon to be 7yo:

Independent Woman, by Destiny's Child- "Throw your hands up at me" becomes "Fill your house with catnip."

Fell in Love with a Girl, by The Whitestripes- "I've said it once before but it bears repeating now" becomes "I'm playing baseball but the bat's repeating now"

"He don't consider it cheating now" becomes "please consider I'm shaving now."

She clearly has talent.

"Why are you always yelling at me?"

My severely in denial, hearing impaired husband actually had this conversation with our three-year-old after he shoveled some snow.

KID: You didn't do a very good job out there.
DAD: What?
KID: You didn't do a very good job out there.
DAD: I did?
KID: No.
DAD: Thank you!