Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,
What I really, REALLY want this year is my friggin' birthday gift which I was supposed to get six months ago and my mother already paid for!!!!!!!! Send a couple of your less reputable elves to break into the Neil Simon theatre. That's where my fiddle is being held prisoner. Have them bust it out and take it to the luthier. ANY luthier at this point! I don't care! Just get that damn bow rehaired and the bridge and soundpost checked! YOU HEAR ME SANTA?????? You need some elves who can hack. Tell them to access our checking account and there they will find my birthday money, waiting to go to the luthier! Oh and let's not forget that the change goes to Shelton tattoo! There's a sparkly, dangly little star with my belly button's name on it, and it's been mighty patient! YOU HEAR THAT SANTA????? MIGHTY PATIENT!!!!!!! That patience is waning! If I don't get this by christmas day, I will GO WOLVERINE ON YOU!!!!! ARE YOU READING THIS SANTA?????? Oh, and if I don't get it, don't think you'll be getting much from MRS. Santa either! Yeah, we know how to hold things hostage too! I suggest you get right on it pal, or it's gonna be a long, cold winter!

Blessed Yule,
Rima