Travels With a Five-Year-Old

I took Stevie to Chinatown today. Her first train ride, her first subway ride. She had a ball from the minute we left the house. She had been insisting that we have dumplings. We must have dumplings. So we went down to Dim Sum Go Go for lunch, where she proceeded to unwrap the dumplings and eat only the stuffing. My dog used to do that. Stevie didn't lick the inside of the wrapper though. She's such a goof. We had some pork pies, which were in sweet pastry and were sugared inside as well. Very yummy and she ate it down to one end, declaring that it was very good and then suddenly she didn't like it. There was maybe one bite left. She said "I only like the front". There was no front! It was just a little fried pastry! She did the same with the sesame balls, which were yummy too.

Then we went to the Chinatown Ice Cream Factory where they make all kinds of exotic flavors as well as the standard ones. It is a tiny shop and it was jam-packed. They were very busy. They got to us and I asked her what kind of ice cream she wanted and she said "blue". Well, I pretty much choked then. I just didn't know what to do. I said "Blue???? Please tell me a normal kind" and the lady said "We have that." I said "What?" She said "Blue ice cream". Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit, I was stunned once more. So I ordered a scoop of blue on a cone. Stevie was halfway done before she knew what it was. Blueberry. I caught a drip with my spoon and tasted it. We stood out leaning on a barber pole while we ate and people-watched. It was nice.

We bought fans for her and the other two monkeys and then headed back up to midtown to the big Toys R Us. So we go in, and about twenty feet from the door we nearly walked right into this family who was posing for a picture for some reason. It was not a photo op spot like in front of the ferris wheel or in front of the dragon or whatever. It was in front of the door. WTH? So an employee was taking their picture and I heard him say "Say cheese" and something evil whispered in my ear because I became "that guy". Yes, that's right. There's a nice Hasidic family who has a lovely memory of their visit with my big, stupid, grinning face right between mom and dad. They didn't even know I was there. Heh.

You know, I have walked 42nd street countless times in my life and never knew that in front of the Conde Nast building there's a fairy sidewalk. I always thought it was just a stretch of pavement with lots of mica in it, but I guess it's never too late to get an education. I'm glad Stevie told me. I've been ignorant all my life. I feel so foolish.

EDIT: Jenda just told me that those photos cost $25 because they are displayed on their giant screen in Times Square. I am not only a jerk, but I'm a famous jerk! Yay for me!