Solstikwanzukahmas

December is such an eventful month. All that holiday goodness crammed in. Who could think of a better way to spend winter solstice eve, than the traditional sitting up all night in the ER with the toddler who ate a glass ornament off the tree? Mmmm...now there's a tasty and very crunchy holiday treat. Isn't that why mama hangs them on the tree? So you can pick the appley looking things for a yummy snack? And the wonderfully warm feelings that are shared when it's clear that nobody at the hospital believes he really ate it because he has no cuts and it doesn't show up on the x-ray, and clearly mom must have some kind of Munchausen's deal going on. But there's always a solstice miracle. Yes, little Angus Claus delivered that little diaper full of sparkly poop to his daddy the next day. Yes sir, there it was for all to see. I should have dropped it off at the registration desk as a thank you gift. It was quite festive looking.

Then of course, there are the Christmas specials that we watch every year. You know, the ones that are so classic that we know the words. We snuggle up with the kids to share the tradition. Like this one- sing along, don't be shy. I know you know the words..."Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo, he loves me, I love you..." Makes you all warm and tingly, doesn't it? "I can't wait to jingle your bells, and falala your la..."

Making holiday treats with the kids is fun. My favorite part is trying to convince a toddler that marzipan isn't playdough and is edible, then trying to convince him that the playdough isn't marzipan and is NOT edible. Haha! Oh the larks we have!

Wrapping the presents and putting them under the tree is one of my favorite solstice/christmas activities. My mom showed up with bags of gifts from herself and my brother and my cousin, and as I placed the festively wrapped packages under the tree, one meowed at me. One had the nerve to say "this place looks like a pigsty!" That last one was Dusty the Talking Vacuum Cleaner. He's lucky my son loves him. Loud seemed to be the theme this year. My little brother, now an adult living across the country, continues his career in sibling irritation by sending my kids things like the Disney princess talking cash register and Tumble Time Tigger, who does cartwheels to MC Hammer music. It's his way. In addition, my kids got a Furby, a talking school bus, and an "interactive" US presidents thing where they press a button to learn about a president and it plays "Hail to the Chief" and ends with "Good night, and God bless America." That was from my strange cousin. She's really old. 'Nuff said. Mind you, I'm not the only one around here with a little brother. Their other uncle got them a musical instrument set. LOTS of them in there. Some that you bang on. I try not to think about it.

I know there's a denoument after the official celebration is over. It always kills me when the last cookie gets eaten. I really like cookies. But that holiday excitement returns with the roaring fire in the oven when you use the self-clean feature after spilling beef drippings. It's almost like the return of the sun after the longest night of the year. Flame on! Oooh, ahhh, pretty...cough cough. Then we open all the windows and doors so that the new year can blow out all the smoke. Yeah, that's it.

I hope your holidays are just as much fun as ours. And yes, I say "holidays" because I don't give a crap which ones you celebrate, I just hope they're happy.