I Tried to Be Nice. Really I Did.

So my mom's cousin got on my nerves. At a family reunion a couple of years ago, we all exchanged contact info so that our family could keep in touch. This resulted in her constantly spamming us, mostly with political bullshit. For a while I ignored it. Then she sent one that was extremely personally offensive, and the subject was "If you disagree, delete". In other words, I want to tell you off, but you don't get to answer me because I'm a passive-aggressive chicken shit moron.

Not once has she sent me an email asking about the kids or telling me what she's up to or what her kids or grandkids are up to. I even emailed her back once, saying so. I never got a response, just more spam. So then I told her to stop sending me political and religious emails. No response, just more spam. I put her address in my junk box, but instead of bouncing, it just goes into the junk box. Sometimes it doesn't make it there, it just goes into my inbox for some reason.

Well, I got fed up. Reason and politeness are not her thing, apparently, so I went to LOL News and Politics, found about fifteen anti-McCain/Palin/fundie pics and sent them all to her in one shot. And I'll probably keep it up until she stops or goes mad, whichever comes first. She's already a nutjob. If I'm lucky, I'll offend her and she'll never have anything to do with me again. Oh, I hope so.

I'm Hungry

Last night I dreamed that I was having dinner at my favorite pizzeria, when my former comedy teacher suddenly showed up at my table and demanded that I give him ten pizza jokes immediately. Needless to say, I was surprised by the whole thing, but jumped on it right away. He said they were kinda lame and he could see them all coming and I could do better. He wanted me to rewrite them and was giving me a generous twelve hours to do so. Then I lost my cell phone in the parking lot, and for some reason, had to ride home on a goat. There was chocolate dessert pizza to make it better though. Clearly I have issues.

Now I want pizza, and feel compelled to write a page of jokes.