Broadway is up and running again! The man's got a paycheck once more! What a relief. Now if only these guys could get it together:
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Harem Boys Holiday Pageant
Wolvie wasn't too happy about it, but if it pleases me, he'll do it. So here you go, my top four harem boys entertaining their mistress.
http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=9630927441
http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=9630927441
TOP TEN SIGNS THAT RIMA IS MISSING LATE NIGHT TELEVISION
10.Laughs in her sleep while eating imaginary Doritos
9. Turns to her husband in the morning and says “Paul, do we have any tooth brushing music?”
8. Has been having hallucinations about giant rats and pigs, and can only be talked down in a Scottish accent
7. Has replaced children’s reward stickers with reward meat platters
6. Has developed lactose intolerance and restless leg syndrome
5. Wore a suit of tortilla chips for Thanksgiving
4. Has been desperately searching the internet for a “host desk” knitting pattern
3. Makes sure that her kids start each day with a hearty, vitamin-fortified monologue
2. Invites other moms over for “a cup of tea and a chat”
1. Responds to mealtime pickiness with “Just eat it! It’s carbolicious!”
9. Turns to her husband in the morning and says “Paul, do we have any tooth brushing music?”
8. Has been having hallucinations about giant rats and pigs, and can only be talked down in a Scottish accent
7. Has replaced children’s reward stickers with reward meat platters
6. Has developed lactose intolerance and restless leg syndrome
5. Wore a suit of tortilla chips for Thanksgiving
4. Has been desperately searching the internet for a “host desk” knitting pattern
3. Makes sure that her kids start each day with a hearty, vitamin-fortified monologue
2. Invites other moms over for “a cup of tea and a chat”
1. Responds to mealtime pickiness with “Just eat it! It’s carbolicious!”
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
"Best of Craigslist" Goodie
This really had me laughing so hard I had tears coming down. It gives me hope for the future.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/465979897.html
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/465979897.html
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Sunday, November 18, 2007
The Broadway People Get it
Latest word on the strike is that the Weisslers plan to replace their stagehands with the cast of "Growing Pains". (come on, you know it's funny)
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
My Feelings Exactly!
I don't know why there are some subjects which make people feel entitled to be incredibly rude and intrusive, but homeschooling is one of them. I do my best to be polite. The following was posted on a couple of lists, but I don't know the original source. I wish I knew who to thank for it.
1. Please stop asking us if it's legal. If it is - and it is - it's insulting to imply that we're criminals. And if we were criminals, would we admit it?
2. Learn what the words "socialize" and "socialization" mean, and use the one you really mean instead of mixing them up the way you do now. Socializing means hanging out with other people for fun. Socialization means having acquired the skills necessary to do so successfully and pleasantly. If you're talking to me and my kids, that means that we do in fact go outside now and then to visit the other human beings on the planet, and you can safely assume that we've got a decent grasp of both concepts.
3. Quit interrupting my kid at her dance lesson, scout meeting, choir practice, baseball game, art class, field trip, park day, music class, 4H club, or soccer lesson to ask her if as a homeschooler she ever gets to socialize.
4. Don't assume that every homeschooler you meet is homeschooling for the same reasons and in the same way as that one homeschooler you know.
5. If that homeschooler you know is actually someone you saw on TV, either on the news or on a "reality" show, the above goes double.
6. Please stop telling us horror stories about the homeschoolers you know, know of, or think you might know who ruined their lives by homeschooling. You're probably the same little bluebird of happiness whose hobby is running up to pregnant women and inducing premature labor by telling them every ghastly birth story you've ever heard. We all hate you, so please go away.
7. We don't look horrified and start quizzing your kids when we hear they're in public school. Please stop drilling our children like potential oil fields to see if we're doing what you consider an adequate job of homeschooling.
8. Stop assuming all homeschoolers are religious.
9. Stop assuming that if we're religious, we must be homeschooling for religious reasons.
10. We didn't go through all the reading, learning, thinking, weighing of options, experimenting, and worrying that goes into homeschooling just to annoy you. Really. This was a deeply personal decision, tailored to the specifics of our family. Stop taking the bare fact of our being homeschoolers as either an affront or a judgment about your own educational decisions.
11. Please stop questioning my competency and demanding to see my credentials. You have no authority to do so. I didn't have to complete a course in catering to successfully cook dinner for my family; I don't need a degree in teaching to educate my children. If spending at least twelve years in the kind of chew-it-up-and-spit-it-out educational facility we call public school left me with so little information in my memory banks that I can't teach the basics of an elementary education to my nearest and dearest, maybe there's a reason I'm so reluctant to send my child to school.
12. If my kid's only six and you ask me with a straight face how I can possibly teach him what he'd learn in school, please understand that you're calling me an idiot. Don't act shocked if I decide to respond in kind.
13. Stop assuming that because the word "home" is right there in "homeschool," we never leave the house. We're the ones who go to the amusement parks, museums, and zoos in the middle of the week and in the off-season and laugh at you because you have to go on weekends and holidays when it's crowded and icky.
14. Stop assuming that because the word "school" is right there in homeschool, we must sit around at a desk for six or eight hours every day, just like your kid does. Even if we're into the "school" side of education - and many of us prefer a more organic approach - we can burn through a lot of material a lot more efficiently, because we don't have to gear our lessons to the lowest common denominator.
15. Stop asking, "But what about the Prom?" Even if the idea that my kid might not be able to indulge in a night of over-hyped, over-priced revelry was enough to break my heart, plenty of kids who do go to school don't get to go to the prom. For all you know, I'm one of them. I might still be bitter about it. So go be shallow somewhere else.
16. Don't ask my kid if she wouldn't rather go to school unless you don't mind if I ask your kid if he wouldn't rather stay home and get some sleep now and then.
17. Stop saying, "Oh, I could never homeschool!" Even if you think it's some kind of compliment, it sounds more like you're horrified. One of these days, I won't bother disagreeing with you any more.
18. If you can remember anything from chemistry or calculus class, you're allowed to ask how we'll teach these subjects to our kids. If you can't, thank you for the reassurance that we couldn't possibly do a worse job than your teachers did, and might even do a better one.
19. Stop asking about how hard it must be to be my child's teacher as well as her parent. I don't see much difference between bossing my kid around academically and bossing him around the way I do about everything else.
20. Stop saying that my kid is shy, outgoing, aggressive, anxious, quiet, boisterous, argumentative, pouty, fidgety, chatty, whiny, or loud because he's homeschooled. It's not fair that all the kids who go to school can be as annoying as they want to without being branded as representative of anything but childhood.
21. Quit assuming that my kid must be some kind of prodigy because she's homeschooled.
22. Quit assuming that I must be some kind of prodigy because I homeschool my kids.
23. Quit assuming that I must be some kind of saint because I homeschool my kids.
24. Stop talking about all the great childhood memories my kids won't get because they don't go to school, unless you want me to start asking about all the not-so-great childhood memories you have because you went to school.
25. Here's a thought: If you can't say something nice about homeschooling, shut up!
1. Please stop asking us if it's legal. If it is - and it is - it's insulting to imply that we're criminals. And if we were criminals, would we admit it?
2. Learn what the words "socialize" and "socialization" mean, and use the one you really mean instead of mixing them up the way you do now. Socializing means hanging out with other people for fun. Socialization means having acquired the skills necessary to do so successfully and pleasantly. If you're talking to me and my kids, that means that we do in fact go outside now and then to visit the other human beings on the planet, and you can safely assume that we've got a decent grasp of both concepts.
3. Quit interrupting my kid at her dance lesson, scout meeting, choir practice, baseball game, art class, field trip, park day, music class, 4H club, or soccer lesson to ask her if as a homeschooler she ever gets to socialize.
4. Don't assume that every homeschooler you meet is homeschooling for the same reasons and in the same way as that one homeschooler you know.
5. If that homeschooler you know is actually someone you saw on TV, either on the news or on a "reality" show, the above goes double.
6. Please stop telling us horror stories about the homeschoolers you know, know of, or think you might know who ruined their lives by homeschooling. You're probably the same little bluebird of happiness whose hobby is running up to pregnant women and inducing premature labor by telling them every ghastly birth story you've ever heard. We all hate you, so please go away.
7. We don't look horrified and start quizzing your kids when we hear they're in public school. Please stop drilling our children like potential oil fields to see if we're doing what you consider an adequate job of homeschooling.
8. Stop assuming all homeschoolers are religious.
9. Stop assuming that if we're religious, we must be homeschooling for religious reasons.
10. We didn't go through all the reading, learning, thinking, weighing of options, experimenting, and worrying that goes into homeschooling just to annoy you. Really. This was a deeply personal decision, tailored to the specifics of our family. Stop taking the bare fact of our being homeschoolers as either an affront or a judgment about your own educational decisions.
11. Please stop questioning my competency and demanding to see my credentials. You have no authority to do so. I didn't have to complete a course in catering to successfully cook dinner for my family; I don't need a degree in teaching to educate my children. If spending at least twelve years in the kind of chew-it-up-and-spit-it-out educational facility we call public school left me with so little information in my memory banks that I can't teach the basics of an elementary education to my nearest and dearest, maybe there's a reason I'm so reluctant to send my child to school.
12. If my kid's only six and you ask me with a straight face how I can possibly teach him what he'd learn in school, please understand that you're calling me an idiot. Don't act shocked if I decide to respond in kind.
13. Stop assuming that because the word "home" is right there in "homeschool," we never leave the house. We're the ones who go to the amusement parks, museums, and zoos in the middle of the week and in the off-season and laugh at you because you have to go on weekends and holidays when it's crowded and icky.
14. Stop assuming that because the word "school" is right there in homeschool, we must sit around at a desk for six or eight hours every day, just like your kid does. Even if we're into the "school" side of education - and many of us prefer a more organic approach - we can burn through a lot of material a lot more efficiently, because we don't have to gear our lessons to the lowest common denominator.
15. Stop asking, "But what about the Prom?" Even if the idea that my kid might not be able to indulge in a night of over-hyped, over-priced revelry was enough to break my heart, plenty of kids who do go to school don't get to go to the prom. For all you know, I'm one of them. I might still be bitter about it. So go be shallow somewhere else.
16. Don't ask my kid if she wouldn't rather go to school unless you don't mind if I ask your kid if he wouldn't rather stay home and get some sleep now and then.
17. Stop saying, "Oh, I could never homeschool!" Even if you think it's some kind of compliment, it sounds more like you're horrified. One of these days, I won't bother disagreeing with you any more.
18. If you can remember anything from chemistry or calculus class, you're allowed to ask how we'll teach these subjects to our kids. If you can't, thank you for the reassurance that we couldn't possibly do a worse job than your teachers did, and might even do a better one.
19. Stop asking about how hard it must be to be my child's teacher as well as her parent. I don't see much difference between bossing my kid around academically and bossing him around the way I do about everything else.
20. Stop saying that my kid is shy, outgoing, aggressive, anxious, quiet, boisterous, argumentative, pouty, fidgety, chatty, whiny, or loud because he's homeschooled. It's not fair that all the kids who go to school can be as annoying as they want to without being branded as representative of anything but childhood.
21. Quit assuming that my kid must be some kind of prodigy because she's homeschooled.
22. Quit assuming that I must be some kind of prodigy because I homeschool my kids.
23. Quit assuming that I must be some kind of saint because I homeschool my kids.
24. Stop talking about all the great childhood memories my kids won't get because they don't go to school, unless you want me to start asking about all the not-so-great childhood memories you have because you went to school.
25. Here's a thought: If you can't say something nice about homeschooling, shut up!
And for IATSE- A Little Badum Bum
Broadway's stagehands are on strike. If it lasts through December, it could ruin Christmas for thousands of NY Jews.
Actor's Equity is supporting the srike. Donna Murphy was so moved that she sent her understudy to picket.
Local 1 is generously using its emergency fund to keep Manhattan's doughnut shops from going under.
If the producers are allowed to save money on labor, they will be able to lower ticket prices by- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm such a kidder! Lower ticket prices SNORT! Ah me....
Actor's Equity is supporting the srike. Donna Murphy was so moved that she sent her understudy to picket.
Local 1 is generously using its emergency fund to keep Manhattan's doughnut shops from going under.
If the producers are allowed to save money on labor, they will be able to lower ticket prices by- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm such a kidder! Lower ticket prices SNORT! Ah me....
Saturday, November 03, 2007
I Weep for Television
With the Writers' Guild of America on strike, I'm going to miss my favorite shows. Although most are stockpiled for a couple of months, many are not. It depends on who's running the show. I hear that Aaron Sorkin is deadline-challenged, for instance. My favorites, however, are written daily, right up to the very last minute. Well, on the bright side, I can stop TIVOing Craig and start TIVOing Conan reruns in order to study them.
I thought about reruns and crappy television, and had a couple of silly "what if" thoughts. Such as, what if they took all the "Seinfeld" episodes and reshot them "Office" style, with Kramer, Newman, Puddy, and Mr. & Mrs. Costanza doing talking heads? I'd watch every frickin' episode! What if CBS picked up "Viva Laughlin" again, for a full 13 episodes, done MST3K style? That would be some of the most awesome TV ever made. (note for any weasels: these blog posts are dated, so snag)
I thought about reruns and crappy television, and had a couple of silly "what if" thoughts. Such as, what if they took all the "Seinfeld" episodes and reshot them "Office" style, with Kramer, Newman, Puddy, and Mr. & Mrs. Costanza doing talking heads? I'd watch every frickin' episode! What if CBS picked up "Viva Laughlin" again, for a full 13 episodes, done MST3K style? That would be some of the most awesome TV ever made. (note for any weasels: these blog posts are dated, so snag)
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