Fifteen Seconds

Freakin' Blogger has changed to some Google thingie and now YouTube won't post videos for me. Anyway, here's a link for you.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=pX5gRaxcviE

I usually can't SHUT UP for fifteen seconds and now suddenly I don't have a clue what I'd say! (except that it would probably be smilar to his idea.) The results should be interesting.

BLEAH!!!!!

Sudden headaches blow serious chunks! And sometimes they cause me to as well. I hope that doesn't happen because I ate a chili cheese dog for lunch. That would be most unpleasant. So is my head. Can someone please make my kids stop screaming? Thanks.

What I Learned This Christmas

I'm so excited because I discovered that if you have cake for breakfast, you don't need to put sugar in your coffee. It tastes the same. So now I know that sugarless coffee doesn't taste anywhere near as good, but it doesn't taste like gak either. I don't have to be desperate if I'm stranded on a desert island with no sugar for my coffee! That's so great. It's a holiday miracle.

Bloop

I do not know how I'm going to burn off all the festive foods, but I am NOT buying bigger clothes. Hell no. I was trying to get back to my smaller, nicer ones. I just might get myself a video game though, and make the rule that I can only play it standing up. It's an action game, so I might start jumping around like a maniac. X-Men. Yeah.

Quote of the Day

Brought to you by Ambien:

"The monkeys are circling my head. That means it's time to go to sleep."

Happy Solstice!

I hope every day brings a bit more sunshine into your lives. I also hope that whatever holiday you celebrate, it doesn't become the horrific sugarfest that ours did. Odin Claus was good to us. He brought me a tiny Wolverine that you put into a glass of water and it grows to six times its size. It came with tattoos and a little comic book. How does he always know?

Another thing about winter solstice is that it's the day the new "Harry Potter" titles are released. (The books get released at summer solstice) The final book is called "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows". That sounds like a condition. "Ugh. I ate McDonald's today and now I have the deathly hallows. Bleah."

Happy winter everyone! Go easy on the cookies. They're deadlier than the nog!

It Just Makes Me Twitchy

Attention all illustrators, animators, advertisers, etc.! Look up! That is a reindeer! It is also known as a caribou. You will find them around the arctic circle. You might know that as the North Pole area. Santa's town.
This is a white tailed deer. It does NOT live in Santa's town. It lives down here with us mortal people, hurling itself at cars. NOT A REINDEER! Now just stop it already, will you?

Holiday Carnage

Monday we are going to slay a tree. Now I don't mind adopting one that's already been murdered, but I feel bad about killing one ourselves. My husband is the executioner, but I have final word on which life gets snuffed out. I feel like Pilate, with my children as the angry mob, and all those trees thinking "not me, not me..." When we cut a fresh one though, it doesn't get crispy right away like the precut ones do, so we opt for that when we can.

My daughter doesn't like trees to be cut down and has asked for a plastic one. I weighed the idea of a plastic tree vs. an eternal black stain on my soul, so we're off to the tree farm! I'm sorry, but plastic- just does not compute. That's like eating Tofurkey on Thanksgiving. It's so wrong that I'm afraid it could tear a hole in the space/time continuum.

Today's "They Don't Write 'Em Like They Used To" Lyrics

Brought to you by the Rolling Stones-

"I tried rewiring her. I tried refiring her. I think her engine is permanently stalled."

Heh. And coincidentally, they also bring us the "What the hell is he saying?" lyrics of the day-

"She was a side of beef sold in a market down in New Orleans"

Woohoo! Nobody Knows It!

Okay, so what songs do you enthusiastically sing when nobody's around? Of course you do, you know you do. Don't lie, I'm psychic and have ears in the back of my head. I know because my kids told me. So gimme your list. I wanna see! Here's my current list, in no particular order:

I Go to Rio
L-O-V-E
Strangers in the Night
Can't Take My Eyes Off of You
And my very favorite (yes I do both parts)...

Don't Go Breaking My Heart.
I couldn't if I tried! Aw honey if I get restless- Baby you're not that kind...

I just can't stop myself!

It's Different for My Species

My 8yo is reading a book about a girl who becomes a knight. My 5yo looked at the picture on the cover and asked if the girl was a child or an adult. My older daughter replied that she was nineteen, but she wouldn't really be all grown up until she was twenty. (oooookay) My little one was confused.

"Mom's EIGHTY and SHE'S not all grown up!" Mmmm hmmmm...