It's Good to Have a Harem

When one of my harem boys was behaving in a less than favorable way, the others provided backup to keep me happy. Hugh went on Leno and made me laugh, and he looked gorgeous. During that show, I also got to see Wolvie light a cigar off a burning car and then show me a fastball special. Following that, Craig was quite naughty and amusing, though he still needs a little discipline when it comes to his comments about Broadway musicals. I think he might be a little bit jealous. Anyway, the previously mentioned harem boy fell back into favor (for the most part) when I noticed that for the first time since we have lived in this house, he cared enough to NOT mow my flowers down with the first mowing of the season. A gesture that I most appreciate.

I Just Bought This Last Night on Ebay

It's 100% Merino, hand spun and hand dyed by some guy and his family in Uruguay. It means that I won't be able to buy decent pants for a week, but it's worth it. I'm so happy. I can't wait for it to get here, though it will be two or three weeks. That gives me time to finish the two guitar straps I'm working on now. Yay for me.

Things That Shouldn't Happen During PMS

The grocery delivery shouldn't bring tilapia instead of salmon. Do not get involved in a discussion in which someone needs to be set straight. Do not look at recipes for tasty baked goods. Do not read a book in which you can spend two hours of reading time reading about murder, suicude, execution, family reunion, birth, betrayal and marriage proposals. Not a good time to find out that they math in your knitting pattern was funky, just as you are starting the final step. Most of all, nobody should give even a hint of suggestion that mommy might be taking less than optimal care of the children.

Trees

If a person wanted to plant a Giant Sequoia in his or her yard, the National Arbor Day Foundation sells saplings for eight bucks. If you get in trouble with your homeowners' association, don't blame me cause I'm just sayin'. (do it do it do it do it do it )

Remember This, Grasshopper

Good: Corn muffins fresh from the oven with butter, honey, and a side of bacon. Mmm.

Bad: Getting your belly button jewelry caught on the edge of the counter in front of the sink and not knowing until you walk away. Very bad.

Chocolate Bunnies

Okay, husband, I nicked this from Stephen Redrobe (he knows) who nicked it from somewhere else, where it was nicked from somewhere else, where it was nicked from somewhere else, where it was nicked from somewhere else, where it was nicked from somewhere else...enough credit?

In Honor of National Tartan Day

Ah, nothing like a man in a kilt. There's something about caber tossing that I just can't seem to put my finger on. Hmm...I bet Bert can.

HEY YOU KIDS! GET OFF MY LAWN!

He really needs to relax.

Brain Dump

Unintended chemical experiments have kept me from dumping out my brain for a while, but it's starting to overflow. I have to get it out.

First, I'd like to know why Nelly was on a kids' show on a kids' channel. (and why he picked that stupid name) "Dat shit" isn't really appropriate language for a kids' show. What were they thinking when they booked him? If I want my kids to hear that, I'll just leave the tv off and they can hear it from me when I'm mad. I don't advertise myself as kid-friendly. They do.

The other day, my aunt gave my 4yo an accordian. I'm sure I don't need to say anything about that. The responses are obvious. It was the same day that my mother gave my 2yo a very loud, talking, toy screwgun. His name is Phil the Drill, even though he's not. I guess they couldn't find a name to rhyme with "screwgun".

George Bush is pushing ethanol. Does anyone else see something wrong there? I defintely hear alarm bells going off. He and his puppeteers only do things if there are big dollar signs attached for them. I'm sure it will be no cheaper for the rest of us than gasoline is. At least it will be cleaner. I notice he's not pushing biodiesel, because I can run my car for free after frying up some catfish. Doesn't do him any good. Well, as far as he's figured out yet. I'm sure whatever ends up being profitable will be owned by them in some way. I'm sure they will make accomodating laws tied to homeland security or something. Or more likely, ignore the law altogether. I'd better start making my own solar panels now.

I like The Wiggles. I really do. My kids love them. They're weird, but they're cool. Their music doesn't make me puke. I like it. Sample lyrics "wahoo hey! I'm combing my hair today!" Yes, that's always an event. "Watch him daaaaaance in his pirate paaaaaants." Another good one. And speaking of music, what is it about a the first summery day of April or May that makes me want to put on "Diver Down" and clean the house? Always "Diver Down". Must be memories of warm spring days at school with everyone playing frisbee on the lawn while my husband (then boyfriend) and his friends ran their speakers out the window. All they played there was frisbee. It was a performing arts school, you see. There were hackeysack players too, but they were a minority, as environmental studies was a smaller department.

Yesterday I went shopping. There's a new clothing store in the mall called "Pretty Woman". If you recall, the movie of the same title was about a hooker. Well, the name tells you all you need to know about the clothes they sell. I'm sure they'll do plenty of business.